How do divorced parents split holidays and school breaks?

A common approach is to alternate major holidays by year and split long breaks like winter break in half. Mother's Day and Father's Day usually go to the matching parent every year. New York's court Parenting Plan form uses this approach, with holidays overriding the regular weekly schedule. Clear start and end times prevent most later disputes.

Smart Divorce NY · Updated October 12, 2026 · General information, not legal advice

Key facts

Holidays override: On the NY court form, the holiday schedule takes priority over the regular schedule
Unassigned holidays: On the NY court form, a holiday not assigned stays with the parent who normally has the child that day
Year pattern: The NY court form assigns each holiday to even years, odd years or every year
Breaks covered: The NY court form has separate sections for Thanksgiving, winter break, spring break, birthdays and summer
Court approval: A parenting plan agreed by parents becomes an order only if a judge approves it

Common ways to split holidays

There is no single required holiday schedule in New York. Parents can choose the pattern that suits their family, subject to the judge's approval. These are the patterns families use most:

Alternating years. One parent has Thanksgiving in even years and the other in odd years. The pattern flips each year, so both parents get every holiday over time.
Splitting the day. One parent has the morning and the other has the afternoon and evening. This works best when parents live close together.
Fixed holidays. Some days always go to the same parent. Mother's Day and Father's Day are the usual examples.
Paired holidays. One parent takes Christmas Eve and the other takes Christmas Day, then they swap the next year.
Attached to the weekend. A Monday holiday, like Memorial Day, goes to whoever has that weekend.

How the New York court form handles it

The New York Supreme Court's Parenting Plan form includes a holiday table. It lists holidays such as Mother's Day, Father's Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Year's Day, Easter and Halloween. It also lists Monday holidays like Memorial Day and Labor Day.

For each holiday, parents mark even years, odd years or every year, and write start and end times. The form says the holiday schedule overrides the regular schedule. A holiday left unassigned stays with the parent who would normally have the child.

The form also has optional rules. One restarts the weekend rotation so neither parent goes more than two weekends in a row without the children. Another gives a parent any unlisted holiday or day off school that is attached to their weekend.

School breaks, summer and birthdays

Long breaks need their own rules. The court form offers these choices:

Winter break. Keep the regular schedule, split the break in half and alternate halves, or write a custom plan.
Spring break. Keep the regular schedule, alternate the whole break by year, or split it in half.
Summer. Keep the regular schedule with listed exceptions, or use a separate summer schedule.
Birthdays. Follow the regular schedule, plan so both parents take part, or set a specific birthday plan.

Many families also add a vacation rule. Common terms set how many weeks each parent gets, how much notice is required and whether travel itineraries are shared.

Writing it so there is no argument later

Most holiday disputes come from vague wording. These habits help:

Give exact start and end times, such as "from 10 a.m. December 24 to 10 a.m. December 25."
Define when breaks start and end. For example, say whether winter break starts when school lets out or the next morning.
Say which year pattern applies, using even and odd years rather than "this year" and "next year."
Say who handles pickup and drop-off for each holiday.
Write a rule for clashes, such as Mother's Day falling on the father's weekend. Usually the holiday wins.
Say how swaps work. The court form requires advance agreement and lets parents decide if it must be in writing.

Settling the schedule in mediation

Holiday schedules are a natural fit for mediation, because the details matter to each family. The New York courts describe custody mediation as a way for parents to create their own parenting plan. The parents choose the terms, and the judge reviews the plan before it becomes an order.

If parents cannot agree, the judge sets the schedule after a hearing, based on the child's best interest. To talk through a holiday schedule in mediation, call Smart Divorce NY at (716) 400-7286.

Sources

This guide is general information about New York law, checked against the sources above on October 12, 2026. It is not legal advice. Laws, forms and fees change; your attorney can tell you how they apply to you.